Tuesday, June 2, 2009

It's Not All About The Kids

So far on my blog, I've steered clear of the more controversial issues, not delving into politics or social issues. I've just wanted to share about my family and what God is doing in our lives. However, I've been a fan of a show that has recently been under much criticism and I feel I need to share my opinion on it. There are always two sides to every story and I fully understand that. But, watching last season's episodes of Jon and Kate Plus 8, my husband and I began to sense some changes in their family dynamics. Things that in reality where probably there all along, but become more clear as their lifestyle began to drastically change. We watched last week's premiere of Season 5, wanting to see it first to decide if our kids could watch it or not. The answer in the end for me was no.
I believe Jon and Kate most likely started out as a normal, American couple desiring to start a family and give their kids the very best they could afford. Nothing wrong with that! I was always happy that they seemed to have a strong faith and shared that when the show allowed. But one of the comments I've heard a lot lately amid all the turmoil they are going through is that "it's all about the kids." They both say everything they do is for the kids! That sounds well and good, but is it really?? In my opinon, they have it all wrong. Maybe if they had not had that backward mindset from the beginning, they would not be where they are today. Let me explain my thinking:
1. First and foremost, their relationship with Christ should have been front and center. Granted, I know TLC does all the editing and for ratings purpose, probably cut out a lot of faith talk from the beginning. But I wanted to see that without a doubt, they were seeking God's will and plan for their lives and they were surrounding themselves with godly men and women who would hold them accountable for all their decisions and help pray them through the tough times. They did not do at least this second part. If you believe the tabloids, they have shut out any of the trusted friends and family that may have been the very people that could have helped prevent them from getting to the place they are in now.
2. It's not all about the kids. Their (and my) marriage came before the kids, and my husband and I will be together when our kids are long gone from home. We tell our kids this often so that they never feel they are front and center in our home. Yes, we love them unconditionally and will do just about anything for them that is for their well being. And there are many times while kids are growing up, especially when they are young, that you have to put their needs first above everything else....when someone is hungry or needs changing, or is sick or injured...just to name a few. But in the grand scheme of things, if I'm putting my kids above my marriage 100% of the time, then it won't take long for my marriage to fall apart and and crumble around me . From where I'm watching, that looks to be exactly what this family has done.
I watched a very sad couple last week try to pretend things weren't as bad as they are, but never once mention that they wanted their marriage to last or to work it out or that they still loved each other. How sad that all those precious kids may not get the chance to grow up in a healthy, thriving, loving home with both parents in the home working together to make everything work, all the while teaching them about God's love and plan for their lives and living His word in front of them daily. And all because of a stupid TV "reality" show that they allowed to consume them, bringing with it greed and the desire for more stuff and notarity. Let me be clear, I know ALL of us make mistakes. I do not believe there is any such thing as a "perfect" family and if anyone says they have one, they are lying. Yes, I do believe this couple can turn things around and be a healthy family once again, with a lot of the right kind of help and a lot of prayer. But, I think Jon and Kate can offer many lessons (straight from God's word) for the rest of us not living in the limelite and with far fewer kids.
Keep your mind and heart focused on God's word and seek to live by all of His principles; desire and run after His will for your life; be accountable to and with others; listen to the wisdom of other Christians; love your kids with all your heart, but hold your marriage high above them and don't let anything or anyone snatch it out of your hands; don't seek after those things that bring destruction; guard your heart and your mind; stay away from evil and RUN from temptation!

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