Wrong Number?

Have you ever felt like God was really calling you to do something, but once you got into it, you wondered if maybe he'd dialed the wrong number? That's been my thought some days while in the middle of homeschooling.

When we started sensing God leading us to home school, I was looking ahead to having eight hours a day of solitude...the husband and kids gone and just me and all the projects I could dream of. Nathan would been starting kindergarten and I'd finally experience peace on earth or at least in my little corner of it.

However, when I received that "phone call" from God, my whole world turned upside down. Now, I was being kicked into the label of "homeschooler" and would have to learn to put my hair in a bun and start growing vegetables, two things I really don't know how to do. I had visions of grocery shopping only in the organic sections while my children called out my list to me in Latin. In between canning all of our own fruits and veggies, milking the cow, sewing all of our own clothes and undergarments, and playing countless outdoor games with my kids since we had thrown out the TV, we would do multiple math lessons a day in order to get ahead of the "normal" kids, read only from the classics, and memorize whole books of the Bible weekly.

As you can guess, I had a very skewed picture of what homeschooling looks like. Not that there is anything wrong with sewing, canning and growing, I just don't happen to know how to do any of those things, nor do I ever want to learn. We shop in the reduced meat section and if there happens to be some lean beef there, we get it. Milk comes from the store and clothes from wherever the best sale is, but never from my sewing machine (I don't own one!) We do manage to do a single math lesson almost every day, we have read some classics, but most of our reading is just whatever looks interesting, and if my kids do a couple of Bible verses a month, we are really happy. My kids can't wait to finish school to get to the TV or computer and they can actually tell you a little about the origins of Latin, but could never quote anything in it.

No, for us, homeschooling means I get to snuggle with my son while reading "Cat and the Hat" or at least I'm snuggling while he's reading the words to me through gritted teeth since he does not want to have to read! It means we get to study about great heroes of the faith and see where they fit into the history I learned as a child, but was never taught the Bible went hand in hand with it. It means we get to know each other in more ways than we want to sometimes and we see the good, bad and ugly.

Sometimes, our school efforts look pretty, with everyone doing as they are told and seeming to enjoy learning, other days, it's quite ugly. Sometimes a day is counted as "good" if only one person was reduced to tears.

But, even though there are days I do think "why," I do know God has called us to this, at least for this time in our lives. I know that on those days when the light bulbs go on, or when my daughter has produced a masterpiece in writing, or when my son aces his math and is so proud of himself, or when someone is able to actually apply a lesson from science or history to our life or to subsequent lessons, that I have received the gift of really being part of my kid's lives in a way that would not be possible otherwise. I would miss so much if we weren't doing this together. I only have such a short time with them anyway....just yesterday they were all babies and tomorrow they will be gone....so I will treasure this time, even through the occasional tears! God has blessed us so much with this opportunity. And some day, yes, SOME DAY....my kids will thank me...at least that's what I'm told!

My perfect little angels on the first day of school, Aug. 4, 2008: