My Favorite Parenting Tool in the Box

I’m going to share my secret to parenting. It’s such a great secret that you won’t find it in any parenting books. In fact, you’ll find that many parenting books would advise against it. It's just one word….bribery!

Yes, I am ashamed to admit it, but unfortunately, this is a tool we pull out of the toolbox more often than I’d like. Sometimes, you just have to do it. Most of the time it works, sometimes it fails miserably.

On our last Disney World trip, my son was about 4 years old. His all time favorite Disney character has been Buzz Lightyear. I was very excited about getting his picture made with Buzz, Woody, etc. One evening, we finally saw Woody next to a line of kids eager to get his autograph. For some reason, my sweet son put his foot down and was not taking his picture that night. I was not leaving DW without this picture, so I finally did what most of us never admit to…I offered him a dollar if he’d take the picture. He said okay and got in line. During the picture moment, he seemed happy and I stood thinking how proud I was that I had gotten him past his hesitation and that when he was older, he’d look back and think how thankful he was to have a mom who pushed him so that he had that picture to treasure. How wrong I was....as soon as the picture was over, he walked straight to me, put out his hand, and said “Now I want my dollar.” So much for treasuring!

Bribery works in many different ways and forms. A few weeks ago, we were having our family picture made with my entire family. My sister and I have had a tradition for many years of taking a picture with our little brother (much to his dismay) standing in the middle of us while we kiss him on the cheek. He’s such a sweet brother to allow us to do this, or knows it’s more dangerous to fight with us about it. We even did a picture like this on his wedding day. So, I decided it would be so cute to do this picture with Nathan and the girls in front of us doing the same thing. Now you have to know that Nathan HATES for anyone to kiss him other than mom and dad. Even his sister’s kisses are off limits. So of course, he flatly refused. I begin to slowly tug on my toolbelt. I offered a dollar, then two, deciding that would be my limit and what six-year-old would turn that down?? NO! That was his answer.

Before I knew it, John stepped in and started upping the ante. First it was an ice cream cone at Marble Slab. What was he thinking?? It was almost dinnertime??!! But, if it got us the photo, I would oblige. Out of nowhere, I realized he was offering the child a Wii for Christmas if he would take the picture. Can you believe it??? I wanted the picture, but really, at what cost?? And would you believe this kid…who DOES really want a Wii…completely turned it down and would not take the deal!! Thankfully, this was an example of the bribery card not working out.

So, on those days when pleading and begging just is not going to cut it, speak your child's true language. When they are young, it's usually easy to do with a food item, but the older they get, the more it can cost you. (Disclaimer: I have absolutely nothing biblical to say about bribing your kids. I'm quite sure it's not the best parenting tool to use and most experts would agree it's not best for your kids, but hey, if it works.....:})